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But mostly, I’d cursed myself for becoming vulnerable. In hindsight, I decided I hadn’t known how to deal with the intimacy of having the same partner over and over. I’d fallen for the novelty of the situation, not the man himself. And if I kept repeating that, I just might believe it… someday.The days stretched into weeks, the weeks stretched into months, and silence had reigned. He never tried to call me, and I never mustered the guts to call him. I lived in fear that he’d share my secret, and spent a lot of time looking over my shoulder. I’d given up sex while my broken heart healed, and so I’d found myself at less than full strength when the plague hit and I was asked to help.Frustrated tears streaked down my cheeks. I was in a catch 22. I needed the energy that he could provide me, and he knew it. He also knew I’d swallow my pride and hurt feelings in order to save those people downstairs. Especially the kids. Worse than knowing he knew these things was my own reaction to it. He got out and lifted my bike in to the back of his pick-up - the first time I got chance to see his physique, all pure muscle mmm I thought. 'Up to you, get in the back with your bike or up front with me?' 'Up front, I like up front', I said. 'I like your front' he said, 'Let's get you out of that cycling gear and warm you up'. 'You're not shy I hope?'He had hand sanitiser and cleansed his hands before handing over the bottle to me, what a gent but I hoped he wasn't going to remain a gentleman for the entire time I was with him! We can keep quite safe with our face coverings on and I've been isolating for months now. 'Me too' I said with far more glee than I intended.'Now then how about you get out of those wet clothes', I could see he was getting turned on, there was a definite bulge in his trousers. 'There's a fresh pair of overalls under the seat you can change in to'. I wasn't going to need asking twice but I wanted to be under his control and not be too easy, although the inner.
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